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This is why I'm single.

Friends are there for you… No matter how much you wish they weren’t.

I have the same experience pretty much every time I use sun block, which I have to, as I am pasty white, don’t tan, and don’t want cancer. Anyhow, said experience is a little like this.

Puttin’ on sunblock, puttin’ on sunblock. Oh doing my face so I don’t get weird sunburn lines, oh-… OH GAWD MY EYES OH GAWD OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAWD IT BUUUUUUUUURRRRNS

So this is a pretty regular thing. Which, by “regular” I mean “every time I want to do anything that involves more than fifteen minutes outdoors.” And being from Colorado, I’m practically required to go outside all of summer. Thank goodness for friends though. Always there to make sure that you’re on the right path, that you don’t die at a hipster party, that your day is as awkward as possible. The day in question, I was headed to the lake with my good friend Hypatia. As I’m screaming in pain in the passenger seat of her car, she offered me this gem of comfort,

“It’s called ‘no tears’ because tears won’t save you.”

To which I stop, then promptly burst into laughter, though she was already well into her enjoyment of my suffering.

But seriously, that is a burn that will never go away. There is only one burn I’ve experienced to be worse, but that tale is for another day…

My point is this when you’re down, friends are there to offer you a hand up.

Assuming they can stop laughing long enough.


About rocketsaway

Hi there, my name is E. Dagger. I'm a mall slave, cat-person-with-a-dog, and caffeine lover. I'm trying to back into the habit of writing. It's not that I've ever really quit, but I did stop actually putting the words on paper, which is a very difficult habit to break. This is one attempt, not to be confused with the first. My best friends are a Physicist, a Dragon, and a Lion. I live in the state of Colorado, where I am permanently in love with the mountains. Books whisk me away to other worlds frequently and Alkaline Trio is my soulmate music. I'm a geek who is notoriously rough around the edges. Magic the Gathering takes up an incredible amount of my free time. I'm fascinated by science; I collect hoodies and sweaters; I love the well placed use of a swear.


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